Failure, ridicule, change, public speaking, spiders, heights, overwhelmness… are all reasons of fear. But, why do we fear? What is it that triggers this emotion and what could be the worst possible outcome? Are we exagerating a bit, maybe? If so, wouldn’t it be more logical to be afraid of fear, or of not being able to overcome our fears?
Apart from the common things that trigger fear, I have recently found myself at a point where, the idea of not being able to control my emotions and overcome those negative thoughts frightened me.
I had started to envision a life surrounded by fears, with no chance of ever living peacefully, because I kept on projecting negative emotions which only contributed to feeding my anxiety. The only things I missed on doing was to live in the present, as fear is all about the past and the future.
I am the amplifier type of person. In every little thing I see a red spark on the verge of bursting into fire. That is the long-waited moment for fear to take its seat in my mind, and make my imagination go crazily through all worst possible scenarios.
I become agitated, my mind can’t focus, I start to ramble and tackle things in an illogical manner, my heart is pounding, nightmares won’t let me rest. And at the end of this hazard, I feel exhausted. Nothing has actually happened, except for my going crazy.
By the time everything is over, I realize it wasn’t even close to what I had imagined. As such, overcoming our fears consists of 3 main phases, the way I see it.
Acknowledge and understand fear
I learnt over time that fear is normal, is part of life, of me and you, and nothing can make it go away. Not even our resistance towards it, which is why the simplest thing to do is to accept it. Fear is just an emotion and it cannot hurt us unless we allow it to.
So, instead of struggling to get rid of it, focus on ways to overcome your fears, and leave them behind. Make a list with the things you are most afraid of and see what triggers them. Work on solving those issues rather than avoiding them. Focus on the solutions, not the problems, with consistency and conviction.
Think and act positive
When something is about to happen, that we fear, uncertain of the outcome, normally we start asking ourselves “What could go wrong?”, thinking this might cool us down. But then, a series of unimaginable negative events flood our thoughts, making us more nervous than before.
Why not, instead, asking this in a positive manner: “What could go great?”. Thus, instead of projecting negative emotions, you start building your confidence, which will boost your performance, which will lead you to success. Doesn’t that look awesome?
Visualise the outcome
Fear is never healthy for our brains. It is, in fact, like a little poison that deteriorates you from the inside out, a little bit every time you activate it. Fear is a natural humane expression, that won’t become extinct just because we want so. It is there and it will remain in place. But, the way we choose to overcome our fears is a mindset.
So you might find it helpful to visualize your outcome. Imagine what would it be like to reach your goals, without thinking of failure or obstacles you might encounter on the way. Project your emotions with confidence and assurance, but always keep them positive!
By doing that, it doesn’t mean you are too arogant or too certain, but that you have the power and the courage to overcome your fear. If you are able to put so much infringement on yourself that you could almost shed a tear, than why wouldn’t the opposite be valid?
Fear is only a limiting constraint that we put ahead of our dreams.