I wrote this article only in my first week at my second job and never intended to publish it until I hadn’t moved on to the next opportunity (hence, the publish).

I always imagined the couple of weeks at a new job would be exciting, encouraging, social, enriching, living every morning with a shivering, knowing you are going on a different route. I saw a colorful beginning, with a short transition between the old and the new, just enough to get a hold of things. I expected it to run by so smoothly, with all kinds of new interesting information and facts about the business, the market, the organization… I expected the kind of first time where I could go home with joy and a clear mind.

And then I remembered this good old saying that never goes still: expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed. After my first day, which I can barely remember, I got home puzzled, unable to sum up the events. I closed my eyes at night thinking it was just the adrenaline rush of experiencing so many new things in such a short time. By the second day I had taken over the projects 100%. Do what you do, and go live! I then realized that, no matter what, I have to jump head forth and take responsibility, even with the risk of making mistakes (which was against my perfectionist nature) . I mean, that shit happens… By the third day, I had already made my mind and decided that I need to take action fast, start asking and calling people to understand what was ahead of me. With no one to hand over, it’s like learning to eat, walk and talk when you are already a grown up.

At that moment, in those very first days, my thoughts were as sadistic and courageous as my character was… not! I said to myself that this was my opportunity to go beyond my limits, to prove my skills and my drive, to myself. If I can go through this successfully, than there’s nothing I cannot face from now on wards. I assumed there will be many criticism, negative feedback, demotivating obstacles, unwilling people, but if I want to go further I need to get stronger.

My key take out from here is that whatever scares the shit out of you is worth trying, rather than running; because there’s no other way you’ll learn more than the one which frightens you the most.

I do hope that by the time this article will be posted (estimated 3 years from now), my feelings will have already changed in the second week.

Present note: I did move on, shortly over 3 years (nailed that timing), with the same thoughts on my mind, but with a much greater satisfaction towards the achievement and social connections I made through this time.

P.S.: further reading on my professional journey here.

Last days on the job